Parental guilt paralysis.

Right before I began this three-week double intensive at uni, I had a major freak out.

It had suddenly become real that I was going to be spending long days away from my ten month old baby.

It would also be the first time in a year that I had done any formal study and deep down I was questioning my abilities.

I was in quite a state. I told my partner that I was pulling out.

But then I remembered something.

I teach this stuff. On a daily basis, I aim to inspire women to believe that they can have it all, what that means to them. For me ‘having it all’ means continually learning, making an impact, making an income AND being around for my babies.

I teach and mentor women on how to juggle their priorities with more joy, less stress and without losing touch with who they are under all those layers of responsibility.

And here I was, freaking out that I wouldn’t be able to cope.

As mothers, we so often let our role as caregiver become a barrier to doing the things that light us up. The guilt can be paralysing. Big thanks to Mr Maree for telling me I was being crazy and reminding me that it’s ok for me to want to do things.

These three weeks have been hard. But I’ve knocked six months off my degree and I won’t need to attend classes for the rest of the year. I also just checked my results and I’m killing it.

It has been a great reminder that I we are in fact capable of so much more than what we think.

And honestly, that huge grin and chubby little outstretched arms when I get home, has made it all worthwhile.